When helping an infant cope with stress, you must first take care of yourself. If it’s not possible to remove the sources of stress, try different methods to reduce and manage it. If you still feel that you’re struggling to control your emotions and reactions, seek support for yourself as well.
At this age, what matters most to the baby is contact with close and trusted people. Be present with your child and provide them with a sense of security. This means you should pay attention to the following:
1. Provide plenty of physical contact
Nurturing touch protects an infant from the negative effects of stress because touch stimulates the release of oxytocin (the “love hormone”) as well as substances that act as natural painkillers. These have a calming effect and reduce cortisol levels in the infant’s body. This effect leads to less physical strain and helps build long-term stress resilience in the child.
Although physical touch has a healing effect on the baby, pay attention to the signals your child is giving you. Some babies may become more irritated by gentle touch or rocking and may prefer firmer holding and more vigorous movement. Some may also need additional interaction with the person touching or carrying them, so talking to the baby while holding or carrying them, or singing softly, can be helpful.
Most babies enjoy being held and moved by an adult. When you move together with your baby, you help release their stress. The physical movement (shared with you while being carried) relieves physical tension, lowers cortisol (the stress hormone), and increases levels of endorphins and oxytocin.
If you are able to get a baby carrier that allows you to keep your baby close to your body while freeing your hands (so you can go about your daily tasks or care for an older child), definitely try babywearing. With the rhythm of your breathing and heartbeat, and your familiar scent and voice, you will easily soothe your baby and help them feel safe and protected.
2. Do not underestimate your infant’s ability to “read” and mirror emotions
When you are distracted, upset, or feeling down, you may think your little baby doesn’t notice your mood—but research shows otherwise.
Even very young infants can detect unresponsiveness in their mother or another primary caregiver. By six months of age, a baby is able to distinguish between cheerful and angry body language. They can recognize signs of emotional states in adults, and the stress of a close caregiver can cause stress in the baby as well.
Your emotional state matters not only for your own health but also for your baby’s well-being—let this be an extra motivation to take good care of yourself.
3. Establish a calm evening bedtime routine
Most babies need help from their parents to fall asleep, and the gentler and more aligned your bedtime support is with the nurturing relationship you maintain during the day, the easier it will be for your baby to release stress, relax, and drift off to sleep.
Having physical closeness with the parent during the night can be very helpful (e.g., the baby sleeps in the same room as the parents, in a crib next to the bed with the side lowered, or in safe co-sleeping arrangements). Nighttime physical closeness helps infants regulate their stress responses from the day. But physical proximity is only part of the story.
Another crucial “ingredient” that helps babies is emotional availability at bedtime—using soothing, calming, quiet routines every evening to help your baby wind down and fall asleep more easily, and promptly and compassionately responding to your baby’s cries and signs of distress.
Studies observing typical nighttime routines in families with infants have shown that mothers who were rated as highly “emotionally available” were more likely to have babies with lower nighttime cortisol levels—meaning those babies were more likely to calm down, fall asleep, and stay asleep more easily.
Finally, it is important to emphasize that caring for an infant is often challenging and intense even in calm and ordinary circumstances. In situations of displacement and prolonged stays in a foreign country due to war and other hardships, it is essential that the adult caring for the infant (and children in general) takes care of their own needs and uses tools to reduce their own stress. Only by doing this will you have the strength to continuously care for the infant (and older children) in a supportive way.
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